- My brain during the day: Potato, potato, ching chong tomato
- My brain at night: I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here and allowed us to provide a perfect climate to sustain human life.
how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.
this is the best joke ever
haha…fuck you - sincerely every friendzoned guy ever
You wish - sincerely the women who are by no means obligated to sleep with you.
you ever walk into a classroom and instantly know who’s in charge of each sub-group of kids? it’s weird how we can so quickly understand hierarchies. also why are there so many goats in the classroom